Social Development and The Montessori Adult

 

Social development is one of the key stages for a child, and the environment and the adults with whom the child is in contact are of vital importance. An environment should be prepared so elaborately that a child must find anything to construct and empower his social skills. A Montessori class consists of 30 or 40 students and all are from different age groups. This feature provides the children with lots of social opportunities to practice some features needed in real life. "In a class of many children there will only be one copy of each object. If a child wants to use an object which is already being used, he cannot do it and when the children are normalized they will wait till the other has finished using that material. Thus certain social qualities develop which are of great importance, e.g., the child knows that he must respect objects being used by another, not because someone has told him, he simply must, it is a fact he has found by social experience The Absorbent Mind, p. 339). As it is stated here, keeping just one copy for each item leads to respect to each other’s work, waiting for his turn and learning to be patient.

One another benefit of the prepared environment is, since it is a multi-aged group, the small children can learn from older ones, and this enhances both sides’ powers. This kind of learning is much more efficient than of learning from an adult. Dr. Montessori explains this situation as: "We teachers are incapable of making a child of three understand many things, but a child of five years can make him understand, there is a natural mental osmosis between them. Also the child of 3 years can become interested in what the child of 5 years does because it is not so very different from the possibilities of the child of 3 years (The Absorbent Mind, 345).

Furthermore, in such an environment with great number of children, of course, there will arise problems between them. Here, the adult’s approach to such an occasion is very critical. The adult should see such problems as developmental opportunities, and let them make use of such a chance. The children can learn how to express their feelings, thoughts, nuisance, and try to find solutions without any interference. Maria Montessori states that, " If there is such a problem, we should, but for exceptional cases, leave the children alone and mind our own business, because in so doing we are able to see how the children solve these problems and observe a manifestation of the behavior of childhood, of real behavior which the adult does not know at all (The Absorbent Mind, 341)."

I have been reading a lot about how to grow a child without detriment to my children’s nature. But, Maria Montessori responds all my diligences in person in her book The Secret of Childhood: "The teacher must not imagine that he can prepare himself for his office merely by study, by becoming a man of culture." Actually, I know this reality, and after gaining awareness on child's soul and nature, now, I can more clearly see how much prejudices I possess. I can easily shout at and reprimand my students, for instance. I cannot even imagine that someone treats my child in the same way, but I do? Though, I have achieved so many goals in my personal development, I feel that I still have a very long way to go. I need to excavate in my soul deeper and get rid of biases, redefine what a child is and what a teacher/adult is/ parent. Only after that, maybe I can get closer to the ideal one in my mind. I always keep in mind that I am the one who needs to be educated, not the child. Dr. Montessori summarizes what we need very well:

"The preparation our method demands of the teacher is that he should examine himself, and purge himself of his sins of tyranny; he must tear down that ancient complex of pride and anger that unconsciously encrusts his heart; strip himself of pride and anger and become humble; this first of all; then re-clothe himself in charity. These are the mental dispositions he has to acquire. This is the central point of balance without which it is impossible to proceed. This is his "training, "its starting point, and its goal."